The pain of separation

(These are random lines, which I wrote. They reflect an acute pain and anguish of separation)

1
She could have at least told me
But she quietly left me alone
When I was sleeping
And
When I woke up
More than missing her
I relished smell of her hair
On the pillow
But that didn’t last

2
Why so many questions?
Was it all necessary?
Was it my fault?
Did I wrong somewhere?
And
What was that mistake?
Was it that big?

3
Does she love me?
Or
Ever loved me?
Or
Even met me?
Or was it all an illusion?
How am I to find out?
She doesn’t answers

4
Am I alone?
Does nobody accompany me?
Then
What is it?
A touch!
Hard to forget

5
Was it a dream?
Did she come?
Or was she for real?
I wait for
I long for
So
Is that it

6
It's long
Long since
I have seen her
Long since
I have felt her
Long since
I have kissed her
And for long
Till eternity
It will remain so
But
I will wait till eternity

7
When I look towards her
She is there
And when I blink
For another glimpse
She is not
And then
When I turn around
There she is again
What am I supposed to understand by all this?

8
When
I need her the most
And search for her
She is nowhere
But
When I am on the brink
Battered
Slowly, she creeps in my dream
I realize
She is there
And then
I rise to conquer

9
I kissed her
That’s for sure
I touched her
That’s for sure
I loved her
That’s for sure
And
Then what happened
I will never be sure

10
Those moments
Which we spent together
Knowing each other
And
Loving each other
Quietly
I
Don’t know how
Turned into
One spent in
Hating each other
Does anybody has an answer
Or I will live
Forever hating myself